The Reality of Reaching your Goals

I come from a family of “petty, petty, competitive people.” We of course call ourselves that in a completely joking matter considering our most common form of “competition” is the occasional game of Trivial Pursuit. My brother is a world champion martial artist, my mother is a Former Mrs. North Dakota International, and my father is an attorney and although it is not conventionally “competitive” it has its qualities. Although becoming Miss North Dakota has greatly impacted life and will forever be a year that I cherish, I knew the moment I was crowned that my life really wouldn’t change. Before you get all “She’s ungrateful for this title and doesn’t deserve it.” Let me explain. When my mother won Mrs. North Dakota International after 7 years of competing, she was caring after her two kids and “cleaning up cat vomit” the very next day. My brother who won a world championship after 5 years of competing woke up the next morning the same person and still had to go back to school. You guessed it, Ava Hill woke up on January 14th as Ava Hill. Just with shinier accessories. What I’m saying is, even when you achieve your ultimate goal you wake up the next morning as the same person. Is that enough? The answer should be yes. Because no matter where you go, what you accomplish or what title you take on, there YOU are. So don’t seek out a goal or title for reassurance that you have value and purpose. Know in your heart from the start that the only validation that you need is your own. Ask yourself why you are striving to achieve a goal and if it’s for the right reasons, it will lead to extraordinary results. Of course walking into Miss North Dakota International I had the goal of winning the title. However, coming from a lifetime of competing as a martial artist and dancer I knew that winning is never a guarantee. I had decided walking into this pageant that this would be my last year competing and I decided that based on three factors. The first being that I have discovered and fulfilled my purpose as a suicide prevention advocate. I knew that with winning the title or not, I have been able to make a difference as Ava Hill and will continue to have the power to do so. Secondly, (and many competitors will agree with this) I have reached a point in my life where competition takes its toll. Returning to a Miss North Dakota stage is never easy. Making the decision to risk it all and put yourself in a position of complete vulnerability is never easy. So this time around I went in with the thought that “This is my last hoorah. It’s my way or the highway.” Meaning I went in with the mindset of competing as 100%, Ava. Straight hair, tattoos, piercings, and my choices on wardrobe. My thought was that if I competed the way that made me comfortable and authentic, even if I didn’t return home with the crown, I still knew that I competed as the person I wanted to be. Lastly, knowing that at this point in my life, I no longer needed the validation. I didn’t need a panel of judges to tell me that I have purpose. I didn’t need a crown to tell me that I have value. I knew going into this pageant that I was beautiful, unique, and powerful beyond measure without the crown. The crown would just be the sparkly icing on top. I don’t believe that these were the only reasons that I won the title of Miss North Dakota International but I do believe that making these choices to remain authentic and true to my self allowed me to put my best self forward. The title of Miss North Dakota International is, no doubt, a life changing opportunity. It is a title that allows me to expand my reach with my platform The Peyton Heart Project: Hearts for Hope, travel the country, develop skills that I will carry with me throughout my life, and create friendships that will last a lifetime. But I am not just developing the skills and experiencing these incredible moments just as Miss North Dakota, I’m developing and experiencing them as Ava. The quirky, crazy, and odd person that I have always been and always will be. Whatever goal you are striving for or opportunity that you are chasing remember to enjoy where you are, as you are. Enjoy the journey and the person that you are developing into along the way. Every obstacle I faced made me stronger. Every title I didn’t get forced me to grow and challenge myself. Every bump in the road taught me a lesson that brought me here to my ultimate goal of being Miss North Dakota International. However, this is not the “end all, be all” This year will have its challenges, lessons, and remarkable experiences that will change me and help me to grow. This year will prepare me for my next chapter of life and the next after that but I will no doubt enjoy every step along the way.