"13 Reasons Why" Made Me Uncomfortable
Warning: This blog contains spoilers about the show 13
Reasons Why.
By now, you've probably heard about
the new Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, based off a novel, which
tells the story behind why Hannah Baker, from a white picket fence town with an
almost perfect family, committed suicide. From being raped by a popular boy, to
witnessing her friend's sexual assault, to her best friends turning their backs
on her. Hannah endured countless acts of bullying, which she relives on 13
audio tapes that are passed around to her ‘friends’ after her death as they are
one of the 13 reasons why she took her own life. On the show, we follow the
main character, Clay Jensen, helplessly wish he had known what she was facing,
so he could have been there for her. We also watch as her peers sit on the
sidelines and watch her demise.
I am sure I am not the only one
whose guilty of binge watching a television series on Netflix, I like to think
of them as really LONG movies. The morning Netflix released 13 Reasons Why several close friends and
I watched every episode that day. I knew I wanted to share my opinions on this
particular television series because I knew it would be a hit. Little did I
know the impact it would make on my generation. 13 Reasons Why has pros and cons but has been a powerful tool for spreading teen suicide awareness.
While watching 13 Reasons Why, I became uncomfortable, for several reasons. My
heart began to ache for Hannah’s loved ones. I knew their pain of losing
someone who didn’t know their own worth to suicide. The moment when Mrs.Baker
finds Hannah in the bathtub my heart physically hurt. I could never, nor would
I want to, imagine finding my dear daughter, or loved one, covered in her own
blood after self inflicted wounds. Another reason why this series made me
uncomfortable was how brutally honest it was. 13 Reasons Why addresses topics that typically are glossed over in
the media including rape, bullying, suicide, and victim blaming. There are
scenes of sexual assaults happening and we watch as all hope has left through
these young women. Although these topics make one so uncomfortable they need to
be addressed and talked about. This series was a good step to starting
conversations to the rid the stigma surrounding suicide.
Suicide is often no one's fault,
and to blame suicide on any one person, or 13 people, would completely ignore
the fact that the person who chose to hurt themselves made that decision for
themselves. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) describes suicide as
a decision that's made as the result of a battle with depression, another mental illness, or a severe traumatic event. Hannah
shows warning signs of suicide throughout the series but Hannah isn’t depicted
to have a mental illness. Although, most suicides are always a ‘shock’ or
‘unexpected’ according to Child Trends, teens are much more likely to consider suicide if they face a traumatic life
event or are suffering from severe depression. Four out of five teens that have
attempted suicide have given clear warning signs.
My first thoughts were, “how could
someone handle being blamed for someones death,” “why would Hannah want these
13 people to suffer, is she looking for revenge?” whether or not she was
looking for revenge. We watch everyone in Hannah’s life suffer. One her
reasons, Alex Standall, attempts suicide in the end of the series and is left
in critical condition. There are elements of Alex's character throughout the
series that demonstrate why he'd be a suicide risk — a restrictive home life, a
tendency toward anger and violence, a lack of impulse control. I noticed
warning signs of suicide in Alex around episode five, and grew curious of the
foreshadowing. I hope that season two addresses copycat suicides or suicide
clusters. Copycat suicides or clusters are a chain of completed suicides,
usually among teens, in a discrete period of time and area, which have a
‘contagious’ element. A risk factor or warning sign of suicide is being exposed
to another suicide of someone close.
I have
often heard conversations of others talking about suicide as a selfish act. I
can see where one could argue it. Someone who has suicidal thoughts may think
the world would be a better place without them and fail to think about their
loved ones that it would impact. 13
Reasons Why does a great job of showing the impact Hannah’s suicide made on
her entire community. We watch as Clay, Hannah’s parents, and the 13 ‘reasons’
physically and mentally become worn down. They process the grief in acts of
denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Mrs. and Mr. Baker are so angered
with entire situation they start a law suit with the school. The character I
saw the most physical change was with Clay.
Clay
started this ’journey’ not really sure how to accept Hannah’s death. In the
beginning, he seems like anyone else would take the news that a fellow
classmate took their life. But once Clay receives these tapes, and as the
series progresses we see this stress or heavy burden just weigh down on him. He
stops communicating with his parents, showering, sleeping, and overall just
taking care of himself.
I could sit
here and type all day about the pros and cons of this series, and maybe I will
address more in some upcoming blogs. But here are my overall lessons learned
from 13 Reasons Why.
1. Social media has a real impact.
2. You never know what someone is going
through.
3. What you say or do really does matter.
4. The small things are important.
5. Listen.
6. Everyone truly has their own story.
National Suicide
Prevention Hotline (Available 24 Hours every day)
1-800-273-8255
Forever and Always,
Siam Simpfenderfer
Miss North Dakota
International 2017
