“A Thing”
As a mom, I find a lot of things I want for my kids, many of
them are the same things they want for themselves. Hey, we all like candy and want spelling
tests to be easy. Some of the things, I
want for them are a little more… existential.
Recently, I decided my eight year old son needs “a thing.”
Let me explain. He
thinks he has “a thing” – X-Box. X-Box
is not a thing. It is a time-sucker,
which we disagree over. I think he has been on there long enough and he
disagrees. Luckily, as mom, I win and
off he goes to find something else to do.
And that brings us back to his needing “a thing.” You see, he is a happy-go-lucky kid. He doesn’t like competition and he truly
could play electronics all day long. His
siblings have things, for instance, his sister thrives on drama, the theater
kind. I want him to have “a thing”, not
just to keep the TV off, but to give him something greater than himself to care
about. “A thing” would focus his energy and attention. It would bring other caring adults into his
life, building a circle of accountability around him. Finding “a thing” is the beginning of being
able to find “things” his whole life. He
needs a “thing”.
“A thing” is the something you care about. But more than that, it is what you are
excited and passionate about. It is what
drives you and makes you get out of bed and put forth 100% again, even when
you’re tired. I want for my child, what
many grown-ups still need to find: purpose, passion, a why?
The other day I met a beautiful woman at a charity event. She
was kind and funny and seemed like she knew what she was doing and why. I was pretty sure she had the grown-up
version of “a-thing.” Two minutes into our
conversation, I knew she didn’t. She had no idea why she was there or why it
mattered to her, it was just an obligation she had to do. But more than that, her life didn’t have “a
thing.” Even life itself was more of an obligation, than a destination. She wanted to have “a thing.” Our conversation took shape around how to
find a passion and have it shape your life.
As we talked, I was able to share my “thing,” my why. I do what I do, because of my kids. The things I choose to spend my time on are
filtered through my passion for them.
Even being at this particular event, while it was keeping me away from
them for the morning, was planned in relation to a larger goal. Now, I am not always this pulled together,
but I do know what I want and where I am going.
I have “a thing.” My thing does
for me the same things I want “a thing” to do for my son. It focuses my energy
and attention on something greater than myself.
It brings other caring people into my life, and it builds a circle of
accountability around me.
The “thing” my son needs and the “thing” this dear woman needs
are not the same. None of our “things,”
will be the same, nor should they be.
They are only ours, if they truly reflect who we are. We know we have found the right “thing” when
because of it, we are better. The
trouble with “things” is, they are elusive and they can change over our
lifetimes. In fact, most certainly they
will and that is good. A forty-something
woman and eight year old boy should probably not have the same thing, but they
both need “a thing”. We all need “a
thing”.
So here’s to us… to each of us finding our “thing.” Together we are on a grand adventure and I’ll
be sure to keep you informed!
Blessings
Janelle Steinberg, Mrs. North Dakota International 2014
