Why Stella Chose Pageants

I never thought that I would be where I am today. When I was younger, I believed that a pageant was for those who wanted to play dress up and I was more of a splash in the mud kind of girl. It never bothered me that I was different...until others decided to tell me otherwise.

I began to see how others viewed me. Thankfully, I’m a little stubborn and never changed who I was, but what did happen is that I began to bully myself along with others. When I was told that bellbottoms didn’t belong in this era, I wouldn’t change. Instead, I would internalize that I was not good enough, couldn’t have different opinions, and that I could never look the way I was supposed to. I would take the lies and make them my identity. Then, I usually would just respond by saying that my parents don’t have time to take me shopping and they are hand-me-downs or something along those lines. I became someone that I don’t recognize today. 

With years of internalizing those lies, I was broken. My parents were able to see this when I didn’t. So, they picked up our family and moved to North Dakota. Once I arrived at a new school, I slowly was able to unravel those lies and find a new identity within Christ. I began to see glimpses of the girl I lost. My voice and smiling eyes were starting to make their way through.

Years later, I was still not complete, but God knew that I was ready for a push. That push happened to be a pageant for this mud loving girl of all things. I was very hesitant and signed up days before the deadline. I thought that by the end of this I would feel like that small, bellbottom wearing girl, but God had something greater in store for me. I was led to a pageant system that helped me grow as a person alongside of other women making a difference. Something I thought would make me feel worse, created a movement within me that is now bringing awareness to bullying and the impacts of internalizing it.

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”-George RR Martin

So, with that I ask you to listen to that push, say yes more, and remember that your identity is within Christ only.

Finding the Gold,

Stella