Everyday is a journey, and the journey itself is home
Up until now, my senior year has been mainly occupied with the thought of finishing college applications. Senior year truly does fly by faster than any other year. I have spent lots of time working through the application process. I have finally finished applying to the colleges of my choice. As I was thinking of my next blog concept, I instantly thought of this application essay I wrote about what the word “home” means to me.
A few months ago, I stumbled across a fascinating quote by Matsuo Basho, "Everyday is a journey, and the journey itself is home." I am intrigued by quotes that push me to think outside my intellectual box and contemplate the meaning. Home to me has always been a physical place, filled with a family that I love. As I began my search for my college home, I thought about this quote again. It makes me wonder if the college I decide to attend, will feel like home.
There have been a handful of defining moments in my life that have shaped my perception of who I am and who I would like to be. One of those moments was when I auditioned for my first choir, at age six. Since then, music has been the underlying rhythm to my life. It is my everyday passion and central theme in my life. Through the years, I have had a variety of diverse opportunities that have shaped who I am as an artist.
It was at an Open Jar Workshop, where Jeff Whiting shared his story of playing the lead role in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, on Broadway. He tearfully recalled being impressed with his rendition of the character. After the show, a young boy in the audience reached out to him and Jeff noticed that the boy had a disabled arm. “We did it!” the boy said. This encounter caused a shift in the way Jeff saw his role as an actor. It was no longer about him doing an amazing job, but rather it was about telling a character’s story that needed to be told. I realized in that moment, Jeff was recalling a journey that lead him home.
When I was nine years old, my mom, brothers and I moved from Bismarck, ND to Fargo, ND soon after my parent’s divorce. This was an experience that forced me reevaluate my definition of home. Later in life, I made the very difficult decision to transfer to another high school. I started a new high school as a junior, but felt like a freshman. I remember pulling up to my new school, taking a deep breath and walking to the doors of a new beginning. I will never forget how my theatre friends who were “Bruin Ambassadors,” welcomed me with clapping and cheering. Although the brick architecture of the building is nothing special, the people inside are extraordinary.
I think that a crossroad in life can be such a blessing. There is a certain sense of urgency when a decision must be made to continue on, or choose another path. One direction promises what is comfortable and the other direction leads somewhere unknown. It is sometimes difficult to know what is best and what is just comfortable. One of the lessons that I have learned this year is to push myself out of my comfort zone. I know that next year will be easier for me to graduate and choose a new path because I have done this before.
“This is my life…my story…my book. I will no longer let anyone else write it: nor will I apologize for the edits I make.” -Steve Maraboli. Fargo South has been a great fit for me. My teachers and friends have encouraged me, believed in me and given me the opportunity to grow and shine. I believe music and the performing arts is a profoundly human experience. It not only enriches our lives, but it connects us to one another through our human experience. I find myself at another crossroad, as I prepare for high school graduation, and look for a new college home, where I will continue my journey.
Payton Hausauer, Miss Teen North Dakota International 2017
