Monday, June 5, 2017

23 Year Old Divorcee


“Ambassador Rules and Regulations Contestant must be at least 19 years of age and no older than 56 years of age by July 1st of competition year. Contestant must be currently single and unmarried. May be divorced or widowed. Contestant may have given birth or be married to a born female. Contestant must not qualify for any other category in the North Dakota International Pageant System (ndintlp).”
Yes,  I was indeed once married. For almost three years I shared my life with another being with the expectations of staying till death do us part. Although we didn’t last, I do feel that everything happens for a reason, and had it never happened I would not be where I am today. Young love can have one smitten, leading you to do things that you would never think in a million years you’d do.  When I first met my ex-husband at UND, it was his sense of humor that grabbed my attention. We could talk about anything, politics, history, the Kardashians, museums and more. While developing our relationship, I never understood how the cycle of relationships functioned until we were married. Our romance stage lasted for about a year, shortly after in came the power struggle stage. I appreciated that no matter what we went through we managed to persevere and focus.
In conclusion, I must say that marriage is like a seed that you one day hope to see a plant. However, if you do not water that seed, nurture it and provide sunlight, nothing will become of it. This is where we failed and so naturally one must make the decision to either stay and hope for the best or to leave and have inner peace. I of course made my decision to file for divorce. Divorce is a very difficult process to go through, sure we did not have children so the process took less than a week to finalize. However, it’s the emotional process one goes through to move on, I luckily had work, school, this amazing pageant to help me do just that.
I can say that looking back I have no regrets and will never say the marriage was a mistake but a lesson to learn. To never rush God’s plans for you, and to also not let yourself become someone you are not by the influences of others. I do wish to be married again someday but when that time comes I want to do it the right way.
I wanted to share this because often when I am asked why I competed as ambassador, I would just shy away. It’s not easy explaining this and when I tell people, they tend to be shocked that I was ever married. I wish to share this from hereon, yes I am a 23-year-old divorcee. However, this does not define me, this does not mean it’s the end of me. This just means this is beginning of a new chapter.
My parents nor family were present at my wedding. My Father was not able to walk his little girl down the aisle. My mother wasn’t there to do what all mother’s dream of when their little girl is getting married. These are all things that I see for myself one day. In this moment in time, I can genuinely say I have found the new and improved Wiljar since divorcing I’ve been eating healthier, losing weight, focusing on inner healing and just doing what makes me happy.  For those of you who have went through this or are currently, I wish to say that this too shall pass.  My ex-husband and I may have left on a sour note back then but we are on better terms now. I am working on finishing school, working and promoting my platform Volunteerism. While he is a Private First Class with the United States Army. It took some time for us to get here but life is too short.   I wish him nothing but the best and plenty of success and he does as well. I’d like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who were there for me, helped me through my darkest moments that I never imagined I would get through. Also to my family for supporting me, being understanding and always being there for me when I needed them the most.
Carpe Diem, Wiljar Ojuro
North Dakota International Ambassador 2017.