23 Year Old Divorcee
“Ambassador
Rules and Regulations Contestant must be at least 19 years of age and no older
than 56 years of age by July 1st of competition year. Contestant must be
currently single and unmarried. May be divorced or widowed. Contestant may have
given birth or be married to a born female. Contestant must not qualify for any
other category in the North Dakota International Pageant System (ndintlp).”
Yes, I was indeed once married. For almost three
years I shared my life with another being with the expectations of staying till
death do us part. Although we didn’t last, I do feel that everything happens
for a reason, and had it never happened I would not be where I am today. Young
love can have one smitten, leading you to do things that you would never think
in a million years you’d do. When I
first met my ex-husband at UND, it was his sense of humor that grabbed my
attention. We could talk about anything, politics, history, the Kardashians,
museums and more. While developing our relationship, I never understood how the
cycle of relationships functioned until we were married. Our romance stage
lasted for about a year, shortly after in came the power struggle stage. I
appreciated that no matter what we went through we managed to persevere and
focus.
In conclusion,
I must say that marriage is like a seed that you one day hope to see a plant.
However, if you do not water that seed, nurture it and provide sunlight,
nothing will become of it. This is where we failed and so naturally one must
make the decision to either stay and hope for the best or to leave and have
inner peace. I of course made my decision to file for divorce. Divorce is a
very difficult process to go through, sure we did not have children so the
process took less than a week to finalize. However, it’s the emotional process
one goes through to move on, I luckily had work, school, this amazing pageant
to help me do just that.
I can say that
looking back I have no regrets and will never say the marriage was a mistake
but a lesson to learn. To never rush God’s plans for you, and to also not let
yourself become someone you are not by the influences of others. I do wish to
be married again someday but when that time comes I want to do it the right
way.
I wanted to
share this because often when I am asked why I competed as ambassador, I would
just shy away. It’s not easy explaining this and when I tell people, they tend
to be shocked that I was ever married. I wish to share this from hereon, yes I
am a 23-year-old divorcee. However, this does not define me, this does not mean
it’s the end of me. This just means this is beginning of a new chapter.
My parents nor
family were present at my wedding. My Father was not able to walk his little
girl down the aisle. My mother wasn’t there to do what all mother’s dream of
when their little girl is getting married. These are all things that I see for
myself one day. In this moment in time, I can genuinely say I have found the
new and improved Wiljar since divorcing I’ve been eating healthier, losing
weight, focusing on inner healing and just doing what makes me happy. For those of you who have went through this or
are currently, I wish to say that this too shall pass. My ex-husband and I may have left on a sour
note back then but we are on better terms now. I am working on finishing
school, working and promoting my platform Volunteerism. While he is a Private
First Class with the United States Army. It took some time for us to get here
but life is too short. I wish him
nothing but the best and plenty of success and he does as well. I’d like to say
thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who were there for me, helped me
through my darkest moments that I never imagined I would get through. Also to
my family for supporting me, being understanding and always being there for me
when I needed them the most.
Carpe Diem,
Wiljar Ojuro
North Dakota
International Ambassador 2017.