‘Fraidy Cat
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of
power, of love, and of self-discipline”
2 Timothy 1:7
October. It’s the month of all things dark and
scary. It is the time of year when it is
ok to send our small children, ok, and ourselves out in the dark toting guns
and knives covered in blood, all in the name of fun. Really, it is a very strange season. One I don’t always understand and that I
certainly don’t love. You see I am a
fearful person. I prefer to call myself
a worry-wart. It sounds less crazy. I create enough to worry about, without
celebrating the things that go bump-in-the-night.
My biggest
fears always revolve around the “what if’s”.
You know, pick a problem and add the phrase “what if it happens to me,
my house, my family, my parents, my children.”
My solution to my fear has always been found in myself. To calm my fears, I have become a
planner. You see, if I have a plan in
place, I worry less. I somehow manage to
convince myself I have the situation in control. Or at least I would, if said scenario where to
take place.
Now,
sometimes in my life this tendency has been to my advantage. My purse, while weighing approximately 20
pounds, does keep me well prepared.
Anyone need a spoon? And the mornings
go smoother because I’ve laid out the needs of the day, the whole day, the
night before. Other times this is not so
true. Worry doesn’t do much for my
stomach, or my complexion, or my sleep, or my……
Currently, I
have found a new thing to worry about and it is coming at me from my very own
radio. You see, I am a big talk radio
fan. On it goes, in the morning and off
it goes at bed time. I even have the
live streaming aps for my favorite shows on my phone. I wouldn’t want to be without my programs. The
problem: the news scares me. I can’t listen any more. Today I had to reach up and make myself turn
it off. I have listened to too much bad
news: war, illness, bombings, shootings.
It goes on and on. I am no
longer informing myself. I have just
moved into crazyland. Every new story makes me more and more afraid. I knew
today was the last day of scaring myself when I started planning how I would
survive the coming Ebola outbreak. While
preparedness is good, living in a state of fear is not. I had crossed a line.
The Bible
has 365 verses in it that talk about fear.
One for every day. Instead of
turning to my radio and the “wisdom” of the news pundits, I need to turn to the
wisdom of the Creator God. He is the one
who holds all the things I have fear about in His hands.
God did not
give me a spirit of fear, I have nurtured that all on my own. From Him I have received power, love and
self-discipline. I need to use that
self-discipline to set aside my fear of what-may-come and replace it with faith-in-the-One-Who-is-Already-Here. I know, I won’t transform overnight. I have been nurturing my fearfulness for a
long time, but I have a year’s worth of verses to get me on track.
So there you
have it…I’m a ‘fraidy cat. Even though October
is a month of screams, I am going to save mine for my calling dibs on the best
of my children’s Halloween candy.
Blessings
Janelle
Steinberg, Mrs. North Dakota International 2014
